The Magic Flute

Wikipedia tells us that “The Magic Flute (German Die Zauberflöte, K. 620) is an opera in two acts composed in 1791 by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart to a libretto by Emanuel Schikaneder. The work is in the form of a Singspiel, a popular form that included both singing and spoken dialogue.” Also, Wikipedia summarizes The Magic Flute quite simply when it says “Sarastro, the wise priest of Isis and Osiris, has taken Pamina to the temple for the purpose of releasing her from the influence of her mother, the Queen of the Night. The queen induces the young Prince Tamino to go in search of her daughter and free her from the power of Sarastro; Tamino accomplishes his end, but becomes the disciple of Sarastro, whose mildness and wisdom he has learned to admire. The prince and the princess are united."

My expectations were proven true as soon as I was seated. This is was going to be an excellent performance. My friend, Maggie, was in it and that alone was one of the main reasons for me to attend, however, I knew that there were many musicians in the pit orchestra I knew that played well, and of course the lovely gowns and wigs they would wear—it was all so exciting! The stage was just waiting for those prepared and anxious singers to fill in order that the show could begin. Many people around me looked anxious also; there was a lot of murmuring and sort of an excitement in the air. And as the lights dimmed and the curtain opened, I knew that I was in for a real treat—not only was the singing lovely, but the entire seemed to light up with the combination of an attentive audience and a communicative group of musicians.

Propaganda Analysis

It’s spring. A mother shows her child how she cares for her world. Her brunette hair, pale complexion, and clean, cut outfit are symbols of the typical American woman. This woman has a stately air about her stance; she seems completely comfortable and stable—physically and emotionally. The clothes that hang on her slender and curvy body are simple. The focus of her body is on her countenance and the action she is engaged in. She gently pours water from a garden pitcher on a lawn where flowers are blooming. Her son watches intently; he sits cross-legged on the ground with a clumsy smile wiped across his face. His caring mother is showing him that she cares for the Earth and she desires for him to learn the same. CVS/Pharmacy emphasizes that they care as much as you do about the Earth and it’s dwellers through their advertisement. This mother is intended to represent a pharmacist at CVS/Pharmacy whose love and care for the Earth is reflected in her work ethic. Through an appealing display, CVS/Pharmacy
Commercials take use of visual, emotional, and verbal cues. Word choice can affect the way in which a person perceives you, the product you are selling, and/or the company you are promoting. One technique that can affect the amount information you, as the consumer, retain is repetition. A company repeats their slogan or motto many times. CVS/Pharmacy’s slogan, for example, is “For all the ways you care.”

is repeated verbally in the commercial and is most likely visually displayed, as well. Another persuasive technique is words that are too general—nice, nature, care—that are much too relative to the background of the reader/listener/viewer. During a 2007 CVS/Pharmacy commercial, CVS uses a famous artist (Sarah McLachlan) to perform a song (Ordinary Miracle) that sends the message that they want throughout, and in closing, they leave you with a question. “It’s in your nature to care for others, to listen, to advise, to always be there. Isn’t it nice that there’s a pharmacy that cares as much as you do?” The couple minute monologue is to persuade viewers that CVS/Pharmacy is positive and encouraging, yet they expect you to view their pharmacists as loving and caring. Throughout the entirety of the commercial, “Ordinary Miracle” is heard; its lyrics are specifically designed to challenge you to act upon the message. “Life is like a gift they say, wrapped up for you everyday; open up and find a way, to give some of your own. Isn’t it remarkable? Like every time a raindrop falls. It’s just another ordinary miracle today.“ CVS/Pharmacy desires that all their potential costumers have the mindset that their pharmacy will be something that is ordinary and accessible, but the care and treatment you will receive is unordinary and rare.
It’s summer. A quiet evening with a full moon shining brightly in the cloudless sky allows for a romantic night. The couple sits silently gazing on the thousands of stars and the glowing moon; comparatively, they are so entranced with the sky and each other, that their surroundings are viewed as miniscule. Their white house has a lovely porch swing on which they are both comfortably resting. The man’s arm is placed lovingly on the woman’s shoulder. CVS/Pharmacy facilitates the appearance of the compassionate

and respectable couple through the decent apparel they are wearing and their sweet, innocent quality time. And the artist strategically placed a few flowers toward the front of the picture. The flowers are not only a reoccurring theme in the summer visual advertisement, but they represent peace and beauty; this implies labor on the yard and therefore a beautiful outcome.
An animated commercial like CVS/Pharmacy’s makes use of the propaganda tools in their box. Words like “ordinary” imply that the company desires to be in your community and promotes the philosophy that the employees and location should be local. Plain Folks is the propaganda reference I would place on this “community” emphasis. Throughout each sketch, the company has been careful to represent their idea of a “typical” American. Phrases such as “in your nature to care for others, listen to others and to advise,” allow for viewers to believe that CVS/Pharmacy hires only the most caring and thoughtful pharmacists—an example of glittering generality.
It’s fall. Two girlfriends are taking a brisk walk, breathing in the crisp autumn air. Appropriate clothing and plain colors allow for the viewer to admire their clothing, but concentrate primarily on the expressions on their faces. The one on the left is endearingly placing her hand on the friend that so eagerly seeks her guidance and/support. The women have mocha skin and brown wavy hair. And as the sun shines brightly behind them, they look hopeful for the future. These friends know that they will be there for each other throughout every season of the year and of life. CVS/Pharmacy claims to care for you the same way that you care for others, but can they live up to their standards?

Interview with Jacque De Fouw 5

9. What do you feel is the most important lesson that you teach you medical students? What do you want to them to accomplish as a result of this knowledge?

One of my favorite quotes and I don’t know who said it, but “nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care.” I think that is very important. I think it’s something that the hospitals need to remember.

10. How do you think the education you received and taught would be affected if the United States had a globally run health care system?

The hospitals would be a lot different. I think that the hospitals and private clinics might have an easier road because they wouldn’t have to deal with so many insurance companies. They would have one entity. Perhaps, just like TennCare here in Tennessee, they would sell it through different companies. There are for profit companies that sell government health care plans. I think this clinic would probably be run the same as it is now; however, the funding might be different in that they might allocate money to college health care centers. All of the money that we receive is through student fees, that’s why we treat students and not faculty and staff. We do treat faculty, however, they have to pay.

Interview with Jacque De Fouw 4

7. How would you compare your experiences of studying and teaching health care at different universities on a national level? Do you feel that the government needs to find a new health care system for its university students?

It is hard for me to compare because I worked at a community college campus in Michigan and we didn’t have a health care center. I have worked in hospitals in Michigan.

8. What would you say are the pros and cons to having a privately run health care system in the United States?

I think we have been having a crisis for probably the last twenty years; prior to that, there weren’t as many people, it seemed better then—we didn’t have as much litigation or fear of litigation, people were very trusting with hospitals and I’m sure that probably led to the litigations and things. But I think that HMO’s are run on the same type of thing that we do here, that you pay ahead and then you can go in and be seen for whatever you need to be seen. We have two major parts in our health center here and one is to educate, to teach people ways to stay well, which is my job, and then if they get sick or hurt, to take care of them and get them back into wellness. And of course, our big theme is “Wellness must be pre-requisite to all else. Students cannot be intellectually proficient if they’re physically and psychologically unwell.” That was written by Earnest Boyer. I know a lot of health educators use this statement, but the bottom line is if you’re sick, you can’t do well in school, and we want to keep you well—mentally, physically, socially, in all realms. So that is a big calling. To use a cliché, “you lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink.” And we do as much education as I can handle. Myself, I have two graduate assistants and we try to do the education. Now with an HMO, they will triage a person when they come in; they will decide if that person needs education, if they need maintenance or if it’s an acute episode and they need intensive care. So, they kind triage them into those ways and decide what they need. And a lot of the people that come in here, only need to learn how to do something or how to take care of themselves; they may be fine, but they might need to change their diet or something like that. We kind of do the same kind of thing. So, if someone has a bad illness, we send him or her off to a hospital or that type of facility. I think that we are much like the HMO’s.

I like being able to choose my own provider. I like to be able to go to the provider that I have chosen and not one that is chosen for me. I think it’s important to be able to make informed decisions.

I lived in a city right on the Canadian border and “the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.” And it sounds great; countries like Great Britain and Canada have the social medicine system where you are entitled to medical care. It sounds wonderful, but in actuality, our hospitals in the states are filled with Canadians. Two-thirds of the nurses in the hospital in which I worked were Canadian nurses. I taught in a nursing school, and they would hire the Canadian nurses over our students, because they maybe had more experience and they tended to work for a lower wage. These Canadian nurses would take the ferry across or come across the bridge to work in our hospitals and the patients would come to us because they couldn’t get the care they needed when the needed it. We had patients come for orthopedic surgery that had broken their leg and they needed surgery on it, but they were scheduled for six months down the road, or they had breast cancer and they couldn’t have their breasts removed right away and they had to wait for three months. Well, you don’t wait with those things. There was a terrible back log and plus they are under staffed like we are in the hospitals and the nurses tend to be coming to the states to get paid more. It was not a panacea that we see it as. When I break my leg, I want to take care if it right away; I don’t want to have to live with it for at least six months and have it re-broken and set. If I had gallbladder disease and needed to have my gallbladder removed, I need to do it now, not in two months when they have an opening. That has been a problem. It sounds great for everybody to be covered.

Interview with Jacque De Fouw 3

4. Dr. Edmund Pellegrino, author, physician, and educator, argued that it is “ethics, not economics, [that] should drive the nation’s health system.” Do you believe that the United States government is more focused on the economics of health care, rather than the ethical aspect? Why?

Well, the health care industry is the largest economic thing in The United States. If the health care industry would fail, we would probably go into a really deep depression or something. It seems that economics rule over ethics at the present time. I would have to say in larger areas, such as the university health care center here, we are very in tune to ethics and what is going on. We are concerned that people get the most care for the smallest amount of money; we’re very fortunate that we can do that. And we do not deal with insurance companies. We don’t take any insurance here, so it’s not something we have to deal with. The politics of it all is very discouraging, and I’m glad I’m not in that system anymore. It’s so discouraging when you have a new mother that really needs to how to take care of a new baby and yet her insurance will only let you pay for that twenty-four hours in the hospital. Or you have someone that have complications from their surgery or they may not have a competent care-giver at home. I mean there are just a hundred different things. And you know that they need care in the hospital for a longer period of time, but they’re prohibited from staying because their insurance will not pay for it, and the hospitals don’t like to have to cover the costs of people staying longer.

5. Does the average University of Memphis student have health insurance? Do you believe that providing University health insurance is the answer for more effective on campus health care? Why?

We do keep statistics on students that do come in here, so that we know how many do have outside health insurance. If a student comes in and needs something further than we can do or they need to see a specialist, we tried to refer them to someone that will be able to handle whatever insurance that they do or don’t have.

6. How would you compare the health center at other universities you have worked versus Memphis’? Would you say that overall, students at The University of Memphis need a better health care system?

I think that having the health care on campus certainly provides access for care for students and I think they wouldn’t seek care as often if they didn’t have some place here to go. And the fact that it is pre-paid through their student access fee, it is very convenient for them to be able to come in and be seen by a doctor or a nurse practitioner and not have a cost involved. We also have the lab and x-ray that frequently there are no charges for, because it’s things that we can do here on campus, whereas, if we do have to send them out, we have to charge. Then we let the student know how much it would cost them. But the fact that we don’t take any insurance is good for students, whether insured or not. I hope that because we have this facility that students don’t think they shouldn’t get insurance, because there are a lot of things that we cannot cover here; I mean if a student were to get hit by a car or have a disease or develop diabetes, we can help them in the crisis, but we can’t manage that occurrence since we don’t have hospitalization or anything like that. Students really should carry their own health insurance, so that if something unplanned happens, they would have some sort of bridge.

Interview with Jacque De Fouw 2

2. One organization that is working to transform and regenerate the health care system of the mid-south is the Memphis Quality Initiative (MQI). Their goal is to be [a] catalyst, a resource, and a capacity-builder for health care quality improvement in the Mid-South. By working together, member hospitals strive to provide the right care to every patient, every time. [This includes]: pursuing perfection by providing care that is safe, timely, effective, efficient, equitable, and patient-centered, encouraging patient-centered customized care while discouraging unwarranted variation, improving care by sharing quality initiatives among medical and administrative professionals. Would you say that these goals are being met?

I’m not really involved in much of what the city is doing. I know of health initiatives that they have, but I’m not sure if they are through the program which you’re speaking. I know that one of the big initiatives is to eradicate syphilis from the city. They have a coalition that goes around and does free HIV and syphilis testing in different areas. They offer this free testing at different times, especially on awareness days. They used to come to the college campus and provide it for us for free every other month. I know that the city is active in doing things. I’m more concerned with health college campuses.

Interview with Jacque De Fouw 1

Jacque De Fouw joined the university as Health Educator in September 2000 after twenty-six years of nursing and nurse educator experience in Michigan.

1. How much would you say that the United States government filter what you are taught as a medical student? What kind of information do they provide? What role, if any, does The United States’ Effective Health Care Program (EHCP), whose mission is to be “dedicated to fulfilling this need (finding reliable and practical data that can inform people in order that they may make the best health decisions) through high-quality research and getting that information to you, someone who needs to make health care decisions” play in your education or in the education you provide your students?

The government does have guidelines for what you do and what you can’t do. They are allowed to sensor things. So, pretty much what I was taught in nursing school was medical science; I don’t think it was propaganda for the government. Although, some people think that some of the cigarette stuff and tobacco. It was pretty well founded in science so that it was the basis for what we were taught.

I think you’re referring to the FDA. I know that there have been a lot of criticisms of the FDA in recent years. I do know that they have so many duties relegated to them by different administrations and not enough staff. They are terribly understaffed to be able to do things. I know that there is a problem with things not being scientifically driven, instead being more industry driven; and they are trying to get away from that. It has been a big problem with the FDA. The industry wants to pay for things to be done. And in the very recent years, we have seen a lot of medications that we have tested and seem to be safe, but when they’re put on the market those that who don’t see the benefit of the medicine to those that are in need complain that it was put out too soon. It may also have a side effect that doesn’t seem so great. I know that the FDA is trying to get around that, however, the FDA is politically driven—the people are appointed to their positions. My cousin was the head of the FDA for a while, and he had been appointed, but when Bush came into power he was sent to another position and someone else took his place. I know that my cousin had worked very hard on preventing mad-cow disease from coming to the United States. He tried to get away from the industry driven side of things and getting back to the scientifically based agency. Now that they have added tobacco to their list of things to do and regulate, it’s just a big problem with not having enough money and not enough staff.

English 1010 Evaluation

Haha…this is what I wrote last semester for my evaluation. Wow, my writing has changed…

Although English is my primary language, I am continually amazed by the various aspects of my English, such as grammar, tone, or word choice, that need growth. During these last fifteen weeks, I have become more aware of my writing and comprehension strengths and weaknesses; strengths, which include that my ideas are relevant and on topic and weaknesses which are supporting my thoughts with concrete statements and writing errors, such as commas, quotation marks, etc. With this new knowledge and understanding of my currents writing level, I have been able to see more clearly how I have grown and the ways in which I can improve.

In conclusion, I feel that through focusing on my writing and comprehension weaknesses, I have developed a clearer picture of what I am capable of. This is exciting as I can always use motivation to write. Throughout the semester I have been pushed to study new and different ideas, learn different terms that were connected with them, discuss them with my fellow classmates, and organize these new ones while creating my own in order to write an assortment of essays. And after fighting through this jungle of a variety learning techniques and weeding out some bad habits, I am confident that I am prepared for what battles lie ahead of me next semester in English 1020.

ADDICTION: Movies

My love for movies has certainly been obvious this year as I viewed close to forty during this school year alone. The very idea that you can escape to another person’s life or simply a different reality is appealing—I experience a “high” that lasts for at least thirty minutes following a film. Somehow, my mind builds a connection to the characters, scenery, and music.

The life of movies is the passion—heart and soul—of each of the actors, directors, and producers. Different perspectives allow for different views and philosophies to be integrated into the story, dialogue, characters, and atmosphere of the film. Throughout each scene, my understanding of the mind of the writers and directors becomes clearer. The meaning or moral of the story within these films have a great emotional affect upon me, because I create an emotional attachment with the characters—I feel as if I have gone on their life journey with them.

Does Pigment Make The Black Man Incapable?

What is your first thought when you hear or see the name “Bill Cosby?” Do you think of infamy or fame? Do you think of loving father or a sexual harasser? Do you think of hero or man with amnesia? Ta-Nehisi Coates addresses most specifically the “audacity of Bill Cosby’s black conservatism” in his article entitled “’This is how we lost to the white man.’” Throughout Coates’ piece, he gave somewhat of a history and created a sort of “backdrop” to place Cosby’s most recent activity in front of and in comparison to. However, I feel that Coates’ attack toward the end of his article was based on opinion rather than fact. Not only did I feel that Cosby was underrepresented, but I also felt that Coates’ logic was just as ridiculous as he said Cosby’s was.

Dear Diary

Have you ever missed someone so much that you can hardly breathe, sleep or eat? Every waking moment you spend consists of wasteful sighs and dreams of an existence—a day—where you fall asleep to hopeful dreams of tomorrow and you wake to a blissful morning. Faint sounds of chirping, smells of fresh coffee, and the sensation of that special someone lying next to you listening anxiously for your next breath, absorb your senses. Each time you pass a couple your thoughts are automatically consumed in that person that is etched on your beating, red, sick pump that sends life to your aching soul.

What am I to do? One girl. One life. One chance. Clinging to what the future holds forces me to an state of unawareness; helpless and sick, I feel the reality I desire will never come. I long for each refreshing breath with every fiber in my bones; from the exact moment my eyes meet his, I loose control. My knees weaken and buckle, my stomach turns and leaps, and in one sweeping motion I no longer standing on the ground.

For now, I am made to wait and grasp to the intangible dream, thought, and feeling that endlessly ensnares my thoughts to its captive audience. Am I so weak as to allow my emotions to take control? Yes! Ha…indeed, I am.

“Handling The Pan” in Memphis

Making my way to yet another brown brick building, I glide up the stairs, through the double doors, up two more flights of stairs and head down the hall, going north. Patterson only has one amiable quality in my eyes—the building is always just the right temperature. Entering the large classroom, I notice a man that I fail to recognize. I assume that this is just the man I had come to see speak--Dr. Pete Gathje. With a name like Gathje, I’m already impressed. But soon, some other students trickle in and Dr. Gathje’s time had come. First, Wendy, the English 1020 professor who makes us earn our sanity, introduced her former professor. During the brief preface to the informative speech, Wendy spoke of Dr. Gathje’s involvement—both founder and director—with Emanuel House Manna, a non-profit organization that “promotes hospitality for homeless persons, provides support for Prisoners and their families, promotes educational work in schools and the community, and promotes efforts to abolish the death penalty.” In conjunction with his work at Manna House, Wendy mentioned Dr. Gathje’s position of Associate Professor of Christian Ethics at Memphis Theological Seminary.

Although the amiable man had caught my attention through various statistics, he did not strike me as the sort of fellow that could convince me to pull national defense finances for the homeless. There is something so flawed and yet so true about his logic. Therefore, I must give this homeless issue more thought. Until then, I will ponder the never-ending question, “How can we (The City of Memphis) help the poor and homeless with our time and finances?”

Left Behind…Again…

One summer afternoon, I received a panicked phone call from my Mom that Ryan was extremely depressed. “I’ve never seen him like this before,” she whimpered. Scared that her only son had been wounded, she pleaded with me, “PLEASE! Send him a card or a letter; give him a phone call and talk with him for a while. SOMETHING! He misses you so much!” After such a traumatic conversation, I felt compelled as a sister and friend to leap at the first opportunity I had to write him a letter. Throughout the two-page letter, I addressed the depression that he was struggling with by reassuring him that the Lord was with him; “God will comfort and guide you.” Praise the Lord that with each passing summer Ryan acquired a higher tolerance for my absence; and with a growing tolerance, came a growing knowledge of coping mechanisms. Unfortunately, I missed him, but comprehending what he was feeling was difficult as I’m the eldest child. The saddest part was that I didn’t seem to miss him as much or in the same way as he missed me; I guess I just don’t realize how difficult is has been for him to adjust.

Improv Everywhere

Improv Everywhere is a group of comedians that love to play pranks on the streets of New York City. Their pranks do not harm New Yorkers, but rather promote laughter in the serious and busy city. They’ve pulled over twenty different pranks—musicals in a food court, two-hundred seven people freezing simultaneously in Grand Central Station, twenty-three people give a random guy one hundred hugs, etc. With each harmless joke, they first form a plan and have a meeting on how they will act out their devious plan. Once in action, they blend into the masses, suddenly pull their prank, and disappear just as quickly as they appeared.

I feel that our society could use more of these harmless pranks in order to lighten up the dark, serious sky that we use to cover ourselves. This life is too short to spend worrying and stressing over details to the point that we can’t enjoy the time we are given. This group reminds me that I should relax and soak in the laughs that this life has to offer. The animals, the heavens, the earth, the waters, and the people, that God has so richly blessed with should not be taken for granted. I hope to enjoy many more laughs.

Why Do I Play The Violin?

The week before Spring Break, my violin professor, Soh Hyun, gave her students the assignment of physically writing out the reason they study and perform the violin. My thoughts went wild as I recalled different learning experiences I have had, the countless hours spent on lessons, rehearsal, and solo practice, and the bright future I saw for myself with regards to what I can offer those I teach. Two weeks passed, and I had an hour in which to answer the question that is the basis for why I am even playing the instrument I love. And after two weeks of the brewing an answer in the back of my mind, I finally sat down and wrote the reason I go through all the trouble of going to these lessons, rehearsals, and hours of practice. Though I completed the assignment in about five minutes, I feel that it was all right there in my brain just waiting to come out. And here is my answer:

I play the violin in order that I might further the talent that God gave me. I study so that I might grow my talent as far as I possibly can. I teach so that I might pass on my love for music to those around me and to show that anyone can enjoy music at any age.

~Meghan Lyons

The Racial Divide: African-Americans vs. Caucasians

Building Friendships, Not Diversity

First, you must know my background—I lived in Cincinnati, Ohio until I went to college here in Memphis, I am Irish, German, and Scottish, and primarily Caucasian people live in my hometown.

We are all naturally biased towards what we know best and what we know best is normally what we feel most comfortable with. So, when we choose to speak in a certain manner, certain clothes or friends, we are doing so based off of what we know best. During my first visit to Memphis, I noticed that the African-Americans here had darker skin than most of those I had seen up north. And after the few days I spent here at The University of Memphis during freshman orientation, I noticed that most of the African-American people did not mix with the Caucasian people as much I had seen up north. This was very intriguing.

Throughout the school year that I have spent here at The University of Memphis, I have observed that those who do not act like most of the other people of their race are not usually welcomed by their own race. For example, if a Caucasian male dressed in an urban style, used slang in his speech, and had a heavy southern accent, he is not necessarily welcomed by the entirety of the Caucasian community because some consider his urban style to be only a trait of African-Americans. Therefore, some will not associate themselves with people like this guy, and use derogatory terms, such as “whigger,” when referring to him. As a result of the definite divide between African-Americans and Caucasians, there are less people who desire to date or marry the other race, thus there are less mixed people, meaning darker skin and lighter skin—no much in between.

The history of our country does not condone such behavior as ignoring or mistreating those who do not fit the mold we have created for those we like are to fit in. Therefore, we must break out of our molds and prototypes that feel comfortable and natural; learning to treat everyone with respect is the first step towards friendship.

RaNdOm QuOtEs

I find these quotes insightful. I love reading them over and over; they give me truths to ponder. Enjoy!

“Many things will catch your eye, but few with catch your heart. Pursue these.”

“True friendship comes when silence between two people is comfortable.
True love is not about finding the perfect person. It's about being that person.”

“Sometimes the people we meet change us forever.”

“You can't go through this life being afraid to love, because, without love, there just isn't any reason for living.”

“Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink. But if you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love. If you must steal, steal away from bad company. If you must cheat, cheat death. And if you must drink, drink in the moment that will take your breath away.”

“To the world you may be one person but to one person you may be the world.”

“Don't be afraid of showing your feelings, be afraid of regretting it when you don't.”

“Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to forget.”

“Beauty unaware of itself is the most beautiful.”

“A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you've forgotten the words.”

“Some people come into our lives and then leave very quickly. Some stay for a while and leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never the same.”

If Only, If Only...

Below is a poem I wrote to my boyfriend, Matt, during a time when he did not understand how handsome I think he is. We do not see each other very often because we are going to colleges fourteen hours apart, so I felt that writing him a poem would aid in reiterating my feelings.


If only, if only you knew how much I was missing you
There would be no sad goodbyes with steady cries
Only dreams of when we will meet again

When I think of your face I think of the place
I find rest and hope of bright future, full of never-ending love

And when your strong steady hand holds mine
I feel as if I can rule the world with you by my side

Your loving arms keep me warm and secure
Through the storms of life they are the cure

But when you lips cradle my own
I feel that where you are is where I belong
I long for those soft sweet moments where your lips embrace and your heart will race

If only, if only you knew how much I was missing you
Everything you are, everything you do, everything I see when I look at you
I love it all...I won't lie

Last, but not least, I adore your eyes
For there lies the key to your heart
Through them I can see into your intermost part

I love you
That's it
One-hundred percent
Hurting you isn't what I meant

Only to show you
Despite all the handsome men I have seen
You are the most handsome! YOU, Matthew King, are my dream! <3

God is Calling The Prodigal: The Older Brother

The preacher where I attend did a three Sunday series of sermons on the parable that Jesus told about the Prodigal Son. I found the last sermon particularly powerful; it was on the older brother’s role and perspective in the story.

Text: Luke 15:11-32

1. The story of the Prodigal Son.
a. The younger brother asks for his inheritance and receives it.
b. He leaves, taking only one-third of the father’s assets, but a portion of the workforce as well.
c. The older brother stays behind and works hard to maintain the family’s property.
d. The older brother returns to a celebration of his brother’s return.
e. Notice the statements the older brother makes to his father:
i. I have been slaving for you.
ii. You didn’t give me anything.
iii. He devoured your property.
-The property was the younger brother’s to spend.
f. The older brother’s statement is slander.

2. Who does the older brother represent? The faithful Christian
-This story is really about the older brother.

3. We learn that…
a. God will treat us justly.
b. With privilege comes responsibility.
c. We need to have an attitude of service.
d. We should be forgiving.
e. We need to see our brother’s return as God sees it; it is a celebration!

A Night of Intriguing Sights and Discussions

DATE: August 27, 2008
TIME: 7:00p.m.
PLACE: Galloway Mansion
EVENT: River City Writers Reception and Reading with Journalists Stacy Sullivan, Josh Prager, and Christine Kenneally

The elegance of the columns, semi-circle concrete staircase and drive, and the lovely entry way were enough to convince me that the event was at least going to be worth something; the breath-taking house was intriguing and beautiful. As Stephanie and I entered with our t-shirts and jeans, we were in awe of the lighting, painting, furniture, and the elegant atmosphere—we had a good feeling about being there.

Once seated, I pulled out my red English notebook and turned to a blank page. At least, 20 of us students were crammed in this tiny sitting room on antique chairs, couches waiting to hear these speakers so that we could leave. I had a huge quiz to study for and I was already missing an amazing cello recital that my friend was giving, so I was ready to get this over with. As I gazed toward the room connected to the sitting room, I noticed paintings and special lighting above them. If nothing else, this experience was one of the most beautiful ones I had encountered. I longed to look around the entire house as I am fascinated with big houses—paintings, light fixtures, furniture, pictures, linens, rugs, carpet, and wood carvings and creations—I am into it all.

Soon the crowd of mostly adults slowly made their way to a seat, the floor, or a standing position; the room quieted and the readers took their seats. Mr. Prager made the way to his chair limping with his cane; as he sat his hands shook and his black wavy hair bounced. As he looked to face the audience he looked as if he was staring at us, but his expression told me he was in a different place mentally.

The Convenient Truth

“Thus, cherry picking is used metaphorically to indicate the act of pointing at individual cases or data that seem to confirm a particular position, while ignoring a significant portion of related cases or data that may contradict that position.” ~Wikipedia

“Cherry picking”—the metaphor that inspired movies like Fahrenheit 9/11, Sicko, and an Inconvenient Truth has supported arguments for years. While picking the delightful fruit, I was always taught to choose the best cherries; this is proportional to a politician using propaganda to sway the public opinion of the accuracy of their views. Through the revealing of select information, an author, producer, politician misinforms their audience of the “whole picture.”

Filters like Academy-Award winning director producer Michael Moore utilizes anecdotes and sections of letters, legal documents, and private conversations to uncover one side of the story. Moore’s films, Sicko, Bowling For Columbine, and Fahrenheit 9/11, provide viewers with information on critical global issues. For example, Sicko addresses Health Care in the United States versus Canada, England, Germany, and Cuba. He choose to show only the pros of national health care systems of these other countries and only cons of the United States’ private health care system. Although, Moore provides truthful evidence, he fails to provide his audience with the full story. Therefore, to “prove” that United States’ health care system, Moore chooses to deceive his audience as opposed to addressing U.S. Health Care truthfully and completely.

So, even if I show you all the great cherries I picked, doesn’t mean that those represent all that were on the tree. --My two-cents for this week.

River City Writers Speakers: Christine Kenneally

Terms:
~”I”-Tension between 1st and 2nd person in non-fiction: 1st person is considered unprofessional by some.
~Creative writing VS. Journalism: Creative writing leaves room for the author to 1st person, whereas, Journalism is purely fact and there is little to no room to use 1st person. “Viewpoint or point of view is a narrative technique. It's where the narrator exists within the fabric of the retelling. Every fiction writer should be familiar with the common tags associated with viewpoint:1st person, 2nd person, and 3rd person. Think of viewpoint as measure of distance. Envision a target with the scores reversed. The bullseye has a value of zero, while each consecutive ring outward is incrementally one higher. The higher the number, the greater the distance from the center of the target. 1st person viewpoint or retelling from the "I" viewpoint has a distance of zero. When the narrative distance is zero, the narrator is the central and integral focal point through which all events are characterized. As the distance from the protagonist's internal viewpoint increases, the perspective grows increasingly more abstract until we reach what's termed the "omniscient" viewpoint.” ~Will Greenway, Viewpoint, Perspective and Time

Questions:

1. What inspired you to write on linguistics?
2. What struggles, if any, did you have while writing this piece?
3. Do you typically write on these “scientific” philosophies and experiments, or was this a “one time” deal?

River City Writers Speakers: Josh Prager

Terms:
~The Echoing Green: Giants' 1951 Comeback, The Sport's Greatest, Wasn't All It Seemed - Miracle Ended With 'The Shot Heard Round the World'; It Began With a Buzzer - 'Papa's' Collapsible Legacy.
~”The Giants win the Pennant! The Giants win the Pennant!”: The words of a radio broadcaster when the New York Giants won the Pennant in 1951.
~”The shot heard ‘round the world”: refers to Bobby Thomson's walk-off home run that clinched the 1951 National League pennant for the New York Giants.
~Bobby Thompson: nicknamed The Staten Island Scot, is a Scottish former Major League Baseball outfielder and right-handed batter who played for the New York Giants (1946-53, 1957), Milwaukee Braves (1954-57), Chicago Cubs (1958-59), Boston Red Sox (1960) and Baltimore Orioles (1960). Thomson became a celebrity for hitting a game-winning home run in a playoff game, off of Brooklyn Dodgers pitcher Ralph Branca, to win the 1951 National League pennant. The home run (nicknamed the "Shot Heard 'Round the World") is perhaps the most famous in baseball history. The baseball hit by Thomson provides a central motif in Don DeLillo's novel Underworld. Rumors that the 1951 Giants stole signs en route to the pennant were confirmed in 2001, when several players told the Wall Street Journal that beginning on July 20, 1951, the team used a telescope and buzzer wire to steal the finger signals of opposing catchers careless enough to not protect their signs.[1] Joshua Prager detailed the revelations in a book titled The Echoing Green: The Untold Story of Bobby Thomson, Ralph Branca and The Shot Heard Round the World. Giant catcher Sal Yvars told Prager that he relayed to Thomson the stolen sign for Branca's fastball. But Thomson denied that he had foreknowledge of the pitch he hit off Branca for the pennant-winning home run.
~Ralph Branca: is a former starting pitcher in Major League Baseball. From 1944 through 1956, Branca played for the Brooklyn Dodgers (1944-53, 1956), Detroit Tigers (1953-54), and New York Yankees (1954). He batted and threw right-handed. Branca was known as a very good starter during his years in Brooklyn. Branca debuted on June 12, 1944 with the Brooklyn Dodgers, and put up a 3.04 ERA in 109.2 innings pitched in 1945, his rookie year. A three-time All-Star, he won 80 games for the Dodgers with a career-high 21 wins in 1947. He is perhaps best remembered for one infamous relief appearance in a 1951 playoff game against the crosstown rival New York Giants. Branca entered the game in the ninth inning and surrendered a walk-off home run known as "The Shot Heard 'Round the World" to Bobby Thomson, giving the Giants the National League pennant.

Questions:

1. What got you interested dual task of writing and researching as a journalist?
2. Why did this subject interest you so much?
3. Was researching this topic difficult? Why or why not?

River City Writers Speakers: Stacy Sullivan

Terms:
~Milošević, Slobodan: President of Serbia and of Yugoslavia. He served as the President of Serbia from 1989 until 1997 and as President of the Federal Republic of Yugoslavia from 1997 to 2000. He also led Serbia's Socialist Party from its foundation in 1990.
~Stalin, Joseph: as General Secretary of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union's Central Committee from 1922 until his death in 1953. During that time he established the regime now known as Stalinism. As one of several Central Committee Secretariats, Stalin's formal position was originally limited in scope, but he gradually consolidated power and became the de facto party leader and ruler of the Soviet Union.
~Hitler, Adolf: an Austrian-born politician who led the National Socialist German Workers Party. He became Chancellor of Germany on January 30, 1933 and Führer in 1934. He ruled until 1945.
~Détente: a French term, meaning a relaxing or easing; the term has been used in international politics since the early 1970s. Generally, it may be applied to any international situation where previously hostile nations not involved in an open war de-escalate tensions through diplomacy and confidence-building measures. However, it is primarily used in reference to the general reduction in the tension between the Soviet Union and the United States and a thawing of the Cold War, occurring from the late 1960s until the start of the 1980s. In the Soviet Union, détente was known as разрядка ("razryadka", loosely meaning relaxation, discharge).
~Yugoslavia: describes three political entities that existed successively on the Balkan Peninsula in Europe, during most of the 20th century. The former constituent Socialist Republics of Yugoslavia, now independent States, are Bosnia and Herzegovina, Croatia, Macedonia, Montenegro, Serbia, and Slovenia. Kosovo, formerly an autonomous province of Serbia, is a partially recognized State which declared its independence in 2008. It was not a socialist republic of the former Yugoslavia; it had the status of a socialist autonomous province within Serbia along with Vojvodina.
~Kosovo: is a region in the Balkans, presently under the ad interim control of the United Nations Interim Administration Mission in Kosovo and protection of the North Atlantic Treaty Organization's Kosovo Force. Its Provisional Institutions of Self-Government have recently declared independence from the Republic of Serbia, which contested the act; as the Republic of Kosovo, it has received partial recognition.
~Albania: a country in South Eastern Europe. Albania is bordered by Greece to the south-east, Montenegro to the north, Kosovo to the northeast, and the Republic of Macedonia to the east. It has a coast on the Adriatic Sea to the west, and on the Ionian Sea to the southwest. From the Strait of Otranto, Albania is less than 100 km (60 miles) from Italy. The country is a member of the United Nations, South East Europe Cooperation Process, Organisation for Co-operation and Security in Europe (OSCE), Council of Europe (COE), and World Trade Organisation. It is also a potential candidate for membership in the European Union and NATO. Albania is a parliamentary democracy that is transforming its economy into a market-oriented system. The Albanian capital, Tirana (Tiranë), is home to 750,000 of the country's 3.6 million population. As a result of the opening of the country in the post-communist era, Albania is now undergoing a development boom as its telecommunications, transport and utilities infrastructure is being revamped.
~Bosnia and Herzegovina: is a country on the Balkan peninsula of Southern Europe with an area of 51,129 square kilometers (19,741 sq mi). The last official census in 1991 recorded 4.4 million people, which was prior to the 1992-1995 war, while an unofficial census in 1996 by UNHCR recorded a postwar population of 3.9 million. Its 2007 residential population is estimated at approximately 4 million. Formerly one of the six federal units constituting the Socialist Federal Republic of Yugoslavia, Bosnia and Herzegovina gained its independence during the Yugoslav wars of the 1990s. Bosnia and Herzegovina can be described as a federal democratic republic that is transforming its economy into a market-oriented system, and it is a potential candidate for membership in the European Union and NATO. The country is home to three ethnic "constituent peoples": Bosniaks, Serbs and Croats. Regardless of ethnicity, a citizen of Bosnia and Herzegovina is often identified in English as a Bosnian. In Bosnia, the distinction between a Bosnian and a Herzegovinian is maintained as a regional, rather than an ethnic distinction. The country is politically decentralized and comprised of two governing entities, the Federation of Bosnia and Herzegovina and Republika Srpska, with District Brčko as a de facto third entity.
~Serbia: a landlocked country in Central and Southeastern Europe, covering the southern part of the Pannonian Plain and the central part of the Balkan Peninsula. Serbia is bordered by Hungary to the north; Romania and Bulgaria to the east; the Republic of Macedonia and Albania to the south; and Croatia, Bosnia and Herzegovina and Montenegro to the west.
~”Ethnic Cleansing”: various policies or practices aimed at the displacement of an ethnic group from a particular territory in order to create a supposedly ethnically "pure" society. The term entered English and international usage in the early 1990s to describe certain events in the former Yugoslavia. Its typical usage was developed in the Balkans, to be a less objectionable code-word meaning genocide, but its intent was to best avoid the obvious pitfalls of longstanding international treaty laws prohibiting war crimes.
~George Soros: is a Hungarian-born American financial speculator, stock investor, philanthropist, and political activist. Currently, he is the chairman of Soros Fund Management and the Open Society Institute and is also a former member of the Board of Directors of the Council on Foreign Relations. According to his own website, Soros claims his support for the Solidarity labour movement in Poland, as well as the Czechoslovak human rights organization Charter 77, contributed to ending Soviet Union political dominance in those countries. His funding and organization of Georgia's Rose Revolution was considered by Russian and Western observers to have been crucial to its success, although Soros said his role has been "greatly exaggerated." In the United States, he is known for having donated large sums of money in a failed effort to defeat President George W. Bush's bid for re-election in 2004. On BookTV, November 12, 2007, he said that he supports Barack Obama for the Democratic candidate in the 2008 election, but says that John Edwards, Hillary Clinton, or Joe Biden are all fine candidates, as well. Soros is famously known for "breaking the Bank of England" on Black Wednesday in 1992. With an estimated current net worth of around $8.5 billion, he is ranked by Forbes as the 80th-richest person in the world.
~Abu Ghraib: an Iraqi city 32 km (20 mi) west of Baghdad. It became internationally known as a place where Saddam Hussein's government tortured and executed dissidents, and later as the site of Abu Ghraib torture and prisoner abuse scandal where the United States military's torture of Iraqi detainees was revealed in a series of photographs published in worldwide news media. Under Saddam's Ba'ath government, it was known as Abu Ghraib Prison and had a reputation as a place of torture and some of the worst cases of torture in the modern world. It was sometimes referred to in the Western media as "Saddam's Torture Central". The prison was renamed after United States forces expelled the former Iraqi government, which had called it the Baghdad Central Confinement Facility (BCCF) or Baghdad Central Correctional Facility. In May of 2004, Camp Avalanche, a tent camp on the grounds of Abu Ghraib for security detainees, changed its name to Camp Redemption at the request of a governing council member. The prison complex was built by British contractors in the 1960s, and covered 280 acres (1.15 km²) with a total of 24 guard towers. The size of a small town, the area was divided into five separate walled compounds for different types of prisoners. Each block contained a dining room, prayer room, exercise area and rudimentary washing facilities. Cells contained up to 40 people in a space four meters by four. By the fall of the government in 2003 the five compounds were designated for foreign prisoners, long sentences, short sentences, capital crimes and "special" crimes.
~”Fixers”: a local journalist who guides, translates, and arranges interviews.

Questions:
1. How did you get connected with the Albanian community of New York City?
2. Why report overseas? What got you involved in covering issues overseas?
3. What did you hope to accomplish through writing and publishing the article that uncovered Idema?

Left Behind

My brother, Ryan, will be thirteen next month. I can’t believe it! We have always been close, however this past Fall I moved nine hours away to attend college. After spending years of playing imaginary games, making up songs, producing movies and plays, writing and dancing to crazy music, and having crazy water fights, the brother and friend I had created endless memories with, I now would only see maybe four months per year. But no worries, we were prepared.

Every summer after my freshman year in high school, I spent at least a month away at a music camp. My eighth through twelfth grade years, I was home-schooled—meaning I spent almost every moment of every day in the house. Although I enjoyed staying home without the stress, drama, and cares of a typical middle or high school, by the end of each school year, I was ready to get out! Ryan and I would go to the Bible camp we’ve attended since the age of eight for a week and for the next month or so I would attend a music festival or two. I remember the first summer I left for a whole month. Ryan was miserable!

Five – Six – Seven – Eight…I can’t concentrate!

The concentration of a single human being is a short one. Our brains can only focus on simply one idea or subject at a time and our attention span—the period of time in which a person can comprehend and hone in on one particular subject—is only so long. According to a study…

My violin practice sessions are a particular time in which concentration has importance. To put all of my thoughts into one area of my mind is a daily challenge. Every time I practice, an array of factors effect how productive my practice will be. Productivity isn’t synonymous with concentration; however, productivity is dependent upon concentration. Mood, body temperature, and physical stamina affect my ability to focus and thus my productivity.

Violin: Seventy Pieces of Wood

“A violin actually contains 70 separate pieces of wood.” (AmusingFacts.com)

The wood instrument that entrances the heart and soul of every listener and performer is complex. The maker of such a contraption spends many hours in training; however, the most effective method of learning is practice. Experience is the greatest tool to a luthier’s familiarity with his craft. Amati, Stradivarius, Guarneri are examples of those who have created these wooden masterpieces. The intricate shaping of each piece of wood and the different types of wood used for separate pieces of the violin. Without the careful sanding, varnishing, and placement of the each piece of wood.

Brian: A Great Listener

Walking down the corridor I intently look for my gate number. Once I find it, I sit—just sit in silence. My legs are on the floor and I am hunched over from exhaustion; my journey was just beginning. Throughout the lengthy wait, I noticed a young man take a seat in the row of chairs in front of me, facing me. He had brown, wavy, short hair and a fast receding line on his white forehead. At first, I thought he was Amish or Mormon, for he had a cross ring on his right hand and he wore a polo shirt and cache pants. What I noticed most, was his lips—there was just something so indescribably pleasant about them. And despite having mixed feelings about who he was, I felt a strong urge to get to know him. I wanted to know exactly what made him dress the way he did and wear the clothes he wore, but most of all, I wanted to see him speak. It boggled my mind that I was so intrigued with such an ordinary man. I soon forgot all about him the very moment they began boarding people on the plane. Once on board, I quickly went to my seat, but who was in the same row, but this young man, Brian. He was such a neat person to talk with; we talked for the entirety of the flight about our lives—our families, our hobbies, our faith and our families. I can talk for hours on end, and so could he, but what made him different is that was also a great listener. I truly hope that we meet again someday.

I will NOT do __________

Have you ever thought about something so hard that you end up acting upon those thoughts? I have…too many times. Once, I was talking to the conductor, Sara, of the youth orchestra I was in throughout high school. The young woman was Australian and grew up in England; her accent was strong. For the entirety of my Freshman year and the summer before, I worked with her. She studied violin through grade school and she picked up conducting later in her college years. Unfortunately, she left to find a permanent conducting position with a professional orchestra after that year. The following year, she came back to visit. Since I enjoyed working with her the year before, I immediately went to speak with her. As I glided towards her, I heard her speaking with that distinct accent, I thought hard about not reciprocating the accent back to her. As soon as we exchanged greetings and she asked me how I had been, I responded with the same accent. I was mortified! Surprisingly, she expressed how she thought I had imitated the accent well. Sara even suggested that I become an actress. Amused and embarrassed, I bowed my now blushed countenance. I guess I had learned my lesson—no matter how hard I tell myself NOT to do something, I will end up doing the very thing I set out to avoid.

River Walk

The sun is brightly shining over me as I sit staring at the almost perfectly still water. The scene is beautiful and unique. My thoughts consist only of the beauty of the “picture” before me. I am at the lonely “river walk” swinging on a red bench meant for two. This “river walk” is somewhat secluded; the sidewalk path that twists around the sides of the river are below campus—there are many entrances through downward staircases. The quiet, “perfect” area allows for couples to have some alone, romantic time. The still water provides a tranquil atmosphere—continuously and gently flowing, but sustaining the transparency of a mirror. My lonely spirit is filled with comfort and peace by this excellent scene. The trees arch toward the water while moss hangs low on the branches. Green patches that cover the water around the trees aren’t lily pads, but rather collected algae; however, they give me a sullen vibe—one that calms me inside. I feel free. I can breathe. I can sleep. My mind can wonder far and wide, yet I will still be seated here. The serene environment to which I so desperately cling captures me in this moment—a moment of peace.

My Life Journey

Here I am, obligated to stand at the opening of a valley—the valley of life. The cliff on which I rely on for support is but the transport, the diving boards with which I’m plunged into the vastness. Each crest and layer of rock, each stream, each plant, each bird and creeping creature instills a haunting fear in my soul. My heart races just thinking of the dangerous, frightening challenges that await me. He’s just sitting in silence, hoping to ensnare me. However, my eyes gaze upon the beauty of this view. What a grand future I have ahead of me.

Elizabeth Bennet, the main character in Jane Austen’s novel Pride and Prejudice, feels similarly. Elizabeth has refused two offers of marriage. Her whole life is in front of her—decisions that will change her life forever are plentiful and stand knocking at her door. Elizabeth is a character that I can relate to. Within her twisted love story, there lies a lovely, well-educated, caring, independent young woman.

The journey of life has many twists and turns. And despite the confusion stirring inside me, I remember that God will carry me through. My trust in Him will prepare me for the journey ahead—both the hills and the valleys.

Butterfly Kisses

One Sunday afternoon, following church services, my Dad took me to Pizza Hut. I was so excited because he had surprised me. My Mom and my little brother, Ryan, hadn’t gone to services that morning, as they were sick. So, Dad decided to take me out. After we were in seated in one of the red booths with a red table, we blew pieces of our straw wrappers across the table with our straws—kind of like a table soccer game, except a piece of a wrapper instead of a ball and straws and breath instead of legs. We had a great time. That was ten years ago.

When my Dad and I would spend time together, we would play board games, baseball, basketball, he would read to me, and he would sing me to sleep. But as Ryan got to be about five, they would be spending time together. They were involved in t-ball, baseball, soccer, football, and Boy Scouts. I grew up, too. Now I am a young lady. My Dad and I talk to each other only when necessary. Our talk is purely business. I cry every now then. My feelings mostly stay all bottled up inside my aching heart.

I love my Dad. Always have. Always will.

Spring Break

One whole week of fun…right?

I am planning to have a great time this next week. I am going to Florida to visit my boyfriend, Matt. My flight leaves tomorrow! Two connecting flights later, I’ll arrive. I am positive that this next week will leave me with special memories. The exception to this great plan, however, is that I have homework. Papers, projects, studying, and the endless paperwork will fill my time these next few days. In all honest, I am not looking forward to completing these assignments. My goal is to finish these assignments with a relaxed mindset. But how do I go about doing that?

First, I feel tension in my forehead, this pull toward my nose—to the center and then downward. Then I begin to repeatedly rub my legs as I set reading and rereading what I have written for the assignment thus far. My mind is frozen. The brick that was once my brain is now unable to function. My attempts to calm my body and spirit are useless. I pray. Now I am calm-er. I pace around my room. If this is my typical routine, then what I do now that my goal is set?

The answer can be found in keeping my time devoted to one aspect at a time—“work” or “play.” Actions speak louder than words, so I must act. Wish me luck…

"Remember Who You Are...Remember..."

I am lost without my creator—the author of my life. It’s amazing how easily He is forgotten. Midterms are this week. My focus has been on my own hectic schedule; instead of my turning my countenance toward the loving God who wants to be a part of every aspect of my life. I have betrayed Him. I am ashamed—naked, vulnerable, and guilty.

The Lion King (1994) was one of my favorite Disney movies as a child. My last name is “Lyons,” so it was hard for me to see Mufasa (the father lion) killed, because I took it like it was my own “Lyons” Daddy. Later in the movie, Mufasa comes to his son (Simba) through a “day dream” where he tells Simba to "remember who he is". This wasn't in reference to his name. Simba had become lazy and refused to take on the responsibilities he inherited with the death of his father and Mufasa wants for Simba to remember these responsibilities, because they are a part of who he is.

I am a child of God. The Lord wants to remind me everyday, but I don’t always give Him opportunity—I watch T.V. rather than spending time in his Word, I listen to music on YouTube instead of singing to Him, I talk to friends rather than praising, pleading with, glorifying Him through the avenue of prayer. But today, I have awoken and I am reminded. Praise the Lord!

May the Lord bless you and keep you.

Overwhelmed…Confused…Discouraged…

“We come to college to get over our littlemindedness.”
-Robert Frost

I broke down. What was I going to do? My Mom was waiting with bated breath on the other end of the phone. Eighteen credit hours creates different atmospheres and thus perspectives on college life. My friend Natalie, for example has had very few assignments and many of her courses simply consist of reading the text and taking a few in class tests and quizzes. However, I have had a BUTT load of work every night. Whining and complaining now doesn’t seem logical as mid-terms are mostly passed after this week is done, but I HATE feeling this way. PERIOD.

College is one experience I certainly don’t want to miss a moment of; it is the long road trips, the late night assignments, and the list continues. Why does it have to be this way? My advisor/violin teacher says that taking eighteen credit hours now will save me trouble later. I know that what she says is true, but my heart doesn’t want to believe it. I want to cry and pity myself all the time, even though this is the most learning I have done in my entire life. My mind is thinking, processing, and organizing new information faster than ever. College has allowed me to broaden my view of culture, music, literature, art, and science; opportunities and experiences are open to me as long as I am here and in the “throw” of things.

What am I doing incorrectly? How is it that I am ending up so strangled, sad, tired, aggravated, and simply frustrated at the world and at myself? I know that my trust in God’s steady hand faithfully guiding me is always an area in need of improvement; however, I feel that this idea of college is to break us away from either loving school or hating it. The college philosophy is that we choose what we want to pursue and the school will make you suffer to get to your goal—graduation. I believe that college and higher education forces us to think and feel love and hate simultaneously.

P.S.~Thanks for letting me vent!

One Semester Down…Seven To Go

This is an old blog I wrote..fun fun!

Hey ya'll!! Haha...wow...I've been using that term so much more since I've been down here...in the south...haha. My first semester is almost over...YAAY!! Tomorrow...at about 12:25...I will be done with classes. However, I still have a jury on Thurs, a final on Mon and Tues, and I have to play for commencement...UGH!! But it's all good.:) I'm very excited for break though; it is a much needed one. I can't wait to be living in a home for a change! lol Good grief!! My dorm room is SOO cold...I can't wait to be in the warmth of my own home and bedroom...haha. But I don't know that going to Chicago a day after I get home is the best idea if I want to stay warm...but I'm excited anyways!!! I'm going with Matt, his Aunt, and his family to Chicago and I'm REALLLLLY excited...we're gonna see a few Broadway musicals and have some fun!! It's going to be AMAZZAAZZING!!!! But anyways...still have to wait another two weeks before that happens... This semester has gone a lot better than I expected and I'm beginning to like the idea of being here for the next three and a half years a little better. :)

NORTH vs. SOUTH Part II

A line that stretched ten people long was waiting to get the permits for their music classes that they would register for the next day; unfortunately, I was number eight. A girl (Natalie) with brown hair and brown eyes who couldn’t find a soul in the line that she didn’t like; her sweet voice was welcoming. But her accent gave away that she was from Mississippi. As soon as she waltzed her way over to me to pull the facts about where I was from and where I went to school and what instrument I played, I knew that we would be friends. We became very close friends over the course of the two-day orientation. After waiting in this enormously long line for an hour and a half, we all new each other very well and by the time we left, we were known as the “music clique.” Natalie and the rest of the “music clique” insisted that I see Beale Street, get a slushy at Sonic, and fix my accent. “Pin” and “pen” were pronounced the same. “Naked” was pronounced “nEked”. “Ya’ll” was in place of “you guys”. “Down yonder” instead of “a few miles down the road” And I was wrong.

NORTH vs. SOUTH Part I

I ate biscuits and gravy for breakfast. Miss Susan ensured that I opened the biscuits and then put the gravy on; instead of putting the gravy on top of the whole biscuit. And before my Dad and I could walk out the door, she promised that she would teach me how to cook, southern style. Miss Susan is my Mom’s best friend. She used to go to church with us up north and she moved down south about seven years ago. And she promised my Mom that she would take good care of me while I was down here in good ole Memphis.

Orientation started at 8 am that Thursday morning. As my Dad and I slowly walked toward the Richardson Towers Dormitory with my huge suitcase and my violin, I was tired and scared. What will this be like? I was nine hours from home. I knew no one. Entering the tall, intimidating set of gray double doors marked the beginning of a new time in my life. I bonded with other incoming freshman music majors that would help mold my perspective of the music school. I was going to enjoy my time here.

In The Beginning…

“In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was formless and empty, darkness covered the deep waters. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the surface of the waters. Then God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. And God saw that the light from the darkness. God called the light ‘day and the darkness “night.” And evening passed and morning came, marking the first day. Then God said, “Let there be a space between the waters, to separate the waters of the heavens from the waters of the earth.” And that is what happened. God made the space to separate the waters of the earth from the waters of the heavens. God called the space “sky.” And evening passed and morning came, marking the second day. Then God said, “Let the waters beneath the sky flow together into one place, so dry ground may appear.” And that is what happened.” Genesis 1:1-9

STOP! Close your eyes and LISTEN! Do you hear it? The air moving around you, the trees swaying, the roar of planes overhead, the distant train whistles, the ticking of the clock on the wall, the ring of your cell phone, the rush of leaves scraping the concrete are the sounds you experience. Every object and being that surrounds you can attest to the creation of the world. God’s fingerprints are all around you.

Let's Make Music

Flowing brown hair with the soft touch of a loving Mother at her fingertips—her stately presence and graceful poise in one combine. Bach sings through her small wooden box. And when those moments of doubt arise, her persistent heart carries throughout the entire concert—every piece, rest, break, pause, and audience outburst. She makes music! This concept bewilders me—as if music can be made like making money or cookies. No, I believe making music is so much more.

It is…

…that thrill before you enter the stage in your lovely floor length dress that your about to give away all that you’ve worked for to a room full of people.

…that bitter hatred and indescribable love that you have for the pieces that you have struggled with for months.

…the “high” you experience when you nail a run or the nasty passage that you have stressed about since you started practicing the piece.

…the guilty crapped out sensation that you feel when you fumble to get the right notes because you have a memory slip.

…the sensation that pulses throughout your body—the beat, the melody, the underlying harmonies that so easily intrigue, phrases that change with each performance.

…the tone that so smoothly rings through your ears as you so gently coax the strings.

…the movement of my swaying body.

…the excitement that the encouraging or apathetic or disapproval or simply boredom that the audience designs.

…the response of the concert hall after you have played your last note.

…the tender silence between the “ring” of your last note and the audience’s grand applause.

…the cheers, tears, cries, approving, caring, loving, piercing, sad, furious, discontented countenances that are enthralled in the moment and the performance.

…the swooping gesture you find comforting more because of the breeze than anything else that allows the piece and eventually the concert to finally come to a conclusion.

…the fast paced beat of your overwhelmed heart in conjunction with the sense of pride that this great accomplishment and the relief of this burden from your heavy shoulders.

…the hugs, tears, fears, and cheers you enjoy following this “great” accomplishment.

This is music making!

Lost In Translation

This week the music school hosted a group of students from The East China Normal University (ECNU) Orchestra of Shanghai. Monday, we began with a master classes with students from both the U. of Memphis and the ECNU. A master class is a “public” lesson (as opposed to a private one). Two Chinese students performed in the master class my teacher taught at, and then she critiqued; however, there was a language barrier. So, a bilingual Chinese music student from the U. of Memphis translated. Then, at orchestra rehearsal on Wednesday, both the U. of Memphis and ECNU orchestras had a joint rehearsal; our conductor had to translate the entire rehearsal. The back and forth translation got very frustrating and time consuming. But when we started to play, it all of a sudden dawned on me that music is a universal language! I had forgotten this, because I was so lost in translation of the aural language. So, when we played, I felt that we played as one; we were finally all communicating with the same language. We had to rely on music in order to converse with each other and that was a new and exciting experience. So music making is what connected our two orchestras—with sound and heart.

I <3 Elephants

A unique fact about me is that I love elephants. I have candles, stuffed animals, bookmarks, puzzles, pictures, statues, beanie babies, purses, necklaces, earrings, photo albums, shirts, baskets, wallpaper, buttons, and stickers with elephants on them. I am obsessed! One of my best friends growing up loved elephants and I also loved the movie “The Secret Garden”, so naturally, I grew to love them. I remember buying my first one. I was so excited! My family, my Mom’s parents, and Dad’s Dad had all gone to the Kentucky State Fair, held annually in Louisville, Kentucky. My Mom’s Mom quilts. And that year she entered a few of her quilts in the quilt show, so we went to see how the quilts placed, as well as the other quilts in the show. After viewing most of the quilts in the show, we decided to look around at the stands under all of the big tents that seemed to cover the fair grounds. One stand we came to had an African woman. She had so many elephants. My heart was racing. I pulled out some of my own money and bought one. My Mom liked them so much that she bought one, too. I was so excited. Over ten years later, my Mom and I still have the little elephants. They are in the china cabinet in our dining room—in a place of honor. :)

Blessed Am I

Pain is a physical and psychological. My back has been hurting for over a week now which means that I am unable to practice and rehearse. UGH! On a typical day, I hate practicing and rehearsing; the constant effort and physical requirements overwhelm me! But today, as I sat in my crappy colored chair during orchestra rehearsal, I could not help but sigh; depressed and frustrated that I was not able to participate in all the music making, I felt a surge of appreciation.

Blessed is the word I would choose. Blessed because God has used this physical pain to teach me to have a humble and thankful heart, and because I have been forced to concentrate on more than the physical aspects of playing the violin. Now I am integrating physical and mental exercises to help prepare me for when I can play again. And when that day comes, hopefully I will have learned how to better appreciate my talent and the privilege I have to play the violin. Recovery may be a long haul, but I am excited to learn the invaluable lessons God is teaching me through this pain. Praise the Lord! Praise Him in all the Earth!

The Joy of The Lord

“Do not sorrow, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.”
Nehemiah 8:10

Walking back to my dorm room during one of the busiest days of my entire life, yesterday, I thought about the concept of “joy” according to God. Last Thursday, my friend Natalie and I went to a Bible Study known as “Focus.” We have gone several times and they give anyone who attends the opportunity to speak about how God has been working in their life. One girl got up and shared that she had been seeking “joy”—in her attitude and lifestyle. She had recently been reading “The Chronicles of Narnia" series and “Mere Christianity” by C.S. Lewis. C.S. Lewis had given her some great thoughts and answers in these books. She concluded that joy was not the state of “happiness,” but rather contentment and hope in Jesus Christ. I was confused. Could joy be synonymous to contentment rather than happiness? This question “brewed” in the back of my mind for a week until I finally understood what this girl had been trying to explain; but in fact, this new definition of joy could not be fully comprehended without truly experiencing the feeling. Yesterday I started to experience this comforting feeling that I recognized as the peace and joy of God. Although I had had one of the busiest and stressful days of my entire life, I felt an overwhelming serenity in my heart. Spiritually speaking, “joy” is not happiness, which lasts for a moment, but rather the peace of heart and mind through trust in The Lord, Jesus Christ. He does not promise “happiness,” but he does promise peace; a peace that only He can give. Let His “joy” set you free.

The Act of Voting: A Right or a Privilege?

How do Americans view the right to vote? One responsibility that Americans have is to ensure that their leaders are serving their needs. This right and privilege should be taken seriously. I feel the right to vote is not to be abused; and that phrases such as “Get Out the Vote” or “Rock the vote”, which is directed at teens to encourage them to register the moment the turn 18, lead citizens to vote for the wrong reasons. This slogan encourages a false sense of satisfaction, and a person casts their vote, they feel they have benefited the community and their country and hence they are a more involved and respectable citizen. Uninformed voting is the result of political schemers and ultimately irresponsible citizens.
An 1955 article entitled “Let’s Not Get Out The Vote” by Robert E. Coulson addresses this issue of uninformed voting and the slogan that has provoked citizens to vote for nothing but the preservation of their reputation. Not much has changed since 1955—politicians are using the same tactics and people are still falling for them. I feel that this article is reflective of the American propaganda system. Political candidates have used slogans and other platitudes throughout the years; whether in 1955 or 2008, it has been proven that these sayings will help them win the most votes.
According to Coulson, the voting behavior of three typical Americans are active, “I have studied the candidates and have made up my mind,” passive “I know nothing about the candidates or the issues. I will stay home, and allow the election be decided by the votes of those who have made a study and formed an opinion,” ignorance, “I don’t know anything about the candidates or the problems, but by golly, I’m going to vote. It’s my duty. I’ll pick the fellows with the shortest names.” (1) Simply getting their name out there is the goal of a campaign.
The one-sided view of a number of Americans is that you are not an active, intelligent, or patriotic citizen if you do not participate in the voting process. Each citizen has their method of influencing the country in which they live. I believe that voting is not the only way in which to further the building up of the nation; one example is school involvement. You can unite parents and administrators to encourage more efficient learning techniques. The more that people simply persistently seek the furthering of their communities and ultimately the world, the more they will work, because their heart and soul will be the underlying force driving them ahead. When you combine the heart and the country of just one citizen, it is then that you are making a difference.
Coulson argues that “Instead of urging people to vote, we ought to be urging them to study and form opinions.” (2) I agree. If we vote and put the wrong people into power, we will all pay. The decisions we make not only affect our families, our communities and our country, but also the rest of the world. Voting has intention; it can be done for the right reasons or the wrong reasons. Coulson states that in 1955, “In every election, not more than one-third of the people care very much about how it comes out.” (2) If serving the needs of the people is our reason for voting, then we are not voting in vain.
In conclusion, the right and privilege we have to express ourselves freely in America is one that should not be forsaken. In 1955, those who were encouraged to vote are the same as those who are encouraged today; so regardless of what time period we live in, there are still those who are active, willing and ready, passive or not conclusive, and ignorant or apathetic. Although campaigners continue to use the tactics, I believe that if we pursue involvment as active citizens of the United States, we will be more effective and efficient citizens. Voting is not just some “civil duty” that we must fulfill for games, show or to win popularity; the purpose of voting is to allow the people to speak and through who they choose, whether they choose, and how they act upon their choice. A guilty conscience should not drive the heart of the American to speak out on election day, but rather a clear and informed one; because “If voting is made a duty, it ceases to be a privilege.” (1)

Peace Throughout Every Shade

“Opinions are like noses, everyone has one.” This phrase illiterates the philosophy that each person has different views. This reminds me of the spectrum of color. Color varies by shade. There are endless possibilities of red, yellow, and blue. Let us say that each person is a different shade. So, as long as every person is a different shade, they will never completely agree or be the same color. The views of each person will depend on their shade; and shade depends on our experiences and our genetic make-up. With billions of people living on the Earth at this time, there are billions of shades. Because of our unique nature, we all bring our “shade” into the mix or spectrum. Many organizations, such as the united nations, have been formed to bring each and every shade together for the sake of peace and unity. Peace is an excellent ambition; it is one hope cause that brings people together. However, we must all consider reality. No person is perfect and agrees with everyone. I find this concept of peace to be a difficult one to place. Now the question is “what are we going to do?” Peace will be a never-ending endeavor…

Lose It For Life

The emotional stability of any person can be a close reflection of how, what, when, where, and why they eat. With the daily increase of obesity in America, comes the question—Why? I believe that the answer lies in genetics and self-esteem. Diets are like vending machines, there are many so many options to choose from. Each diet has its own philosophy; one diet promotes pills to increase metabolism, while the other promotes eating their products. The expectation of so many eager costumers is to loose the weight fast, and for good. However, when any person goes on a “diet”, they are focused on seeing physical change without seeing psychological change. Not only does one need to have the right mind set and attitude, but they must also have substantial eating and exercising habits in place. Balancing a healthy lifestyle for your body and your mind is the biggest challenge. No one can change their genetic make-up completely, however, I believe that anyone can make a difference in their life and the lives of those around them if they focus on their mental/emotional state, as well as their physical state. You may lose thirty pounds, but will you get them back? You decide.

Do You Speak Music?

Exposure to language throughout our high school years becomes very important as we move onto college and/or employment. Not only do high schools use these years to perfect your native tongue, but to also familiarize you with other languages and the cultures that shape them. Such languages that are offered are Spanish, French, and Latin. However, there is one language in which that some high schools do not emphasize or even teach—music. Music does not fall under the category of “spoken” languages, but rather through a combination sounds, emotions, and physical feelings. Therefore, music can affect people drastically emotionally and physically. It could be said that music affects the lives of those who “speak” and listen to its sounds. Music has plenty of rules and exceptions, just as any language. There are a plethora of possibilities in which you can speak and listen to music. You can put words to sounds, you can use the sounds to communicate different moods, emotions, psychological states, and experiences. Music goes deeper than words and their specific definitions. Music is almost rather, a philosophy. I have found music to be comforting. I can not only use this to communicate to others how and what I feel, but also to understand more completely how and what others feel.

Tension Can Just Be So…Tense

Break-ups are hard. However, I would not know just how hard since I have never experienced one. My best friend here at school dated one of my other good friends for the past two months. Last Friday though, they broke up. My friend and him were so cute together. Well, honestly I would have never put them together, but once we all started to hang out, I could see it. And with each passing day, during the months of October and November, their mutual attraction for one another became clearer. He was hesitant to ask my friend out though, because he had never had a girlfriend. One chilly morning in December he decided that he would take the risk, despite lack of experience and full confidence of her reply, and asked her out. The rest is history…right? No. Their relationship, just like any other, was complicated. Over the course of two months, they went on maybe three dates. They liked each other very much. Unfortunately, the commitments he had to school, as he is a double major, and other obligations left him little to no time to spend with my friend. They probably spent approximately seventy-five minutes a week together, and normally that time was at different classes. Two weeks ago they had lunch and they talked about how not spending time together would effect their relationship. He felt so guilty that he was always too busy spend alone time with her. He struggled with what to do for a week; a whole week of him looking completely stressed and troubled. Last Friday, he finally came clean with her. He did not feel comfortable having a girlfriend and not spending hardly any quality time with her. Last night, my friend and I were walking to my car for a “girls night out”, and she explained how the relationship she had once had with him was now strained, and she thought the tension between the two of them now was so great, that she could see and feel it in the air. I agreed—“Yeah, tension can just be so…tense.”

The Story Within Stories

As people flooded the small auditorium, you could feel the excitement in the air. Seventy-five percent were students, with an eagerness to learn—their notebooks at hand and a sincere enjoyment to attend this momentous event resting on the tips of their tongues. The other twenty-five percent were teachers, authors, and sponsors I suppose; their presence is what made this night feel official with their stately clothes and worn faces.

Whispers buzzed all around me, like a contagious disease. I arrived very early—an hour early. One hour passed and the room fell silent, a tall woman with brown, wavy hair, a black dress and high heels gracefully made her way to the front and behind a wood podium. Her lovely voice carried briskly through the stuffy room while she welcomed the now full auditorium; and with a smile draped across her face as she announced the author that had come to read his newest work. “Please help me welcome…Percival Everett.”

A close friend and fellow author, Richard Bausch then introduced Everett with a few remarks and finally. Everett timidly walked behind the intimidating, large podium with his head hanging low. After a stern look at the table on the podium, as if he was gathering his thoughts, he lifted his head for all to see his countenance. I saw sorrow, pain, and grief through the lights of his eyes, the lines that framed his face, and the weight in his lips. His mocha skin was creamy and soft, but his touch seemed cold and full of fear.

Everett chose “The Water Cure” as the title of his newest novel. The author began by explaining to his eager audience the non-traditional, non-sequential style in which he wrote the book. Then he read. I noticed the silky, calm sound of Everett’s voice immediately. I believe that one of the most amazing experiences I have ever had is hearing this author read his work; he knew exactly how to make the words flow from his pointed lips—the words became meaningful and personal.

The underlying story of the novel consists of a man and the kidnapping and death of his daughter. He tells this story through many other short stories. One tells of a unique shop entitled “Words”. With nothing but doors and walls and a large desk at the end of the room, the shop intrigues a young girl. The child “purchases” words from this shop and each time she receives an empty box. Soon she discovers that the words that she longs to find are only what she creates. The man in the book is said to have told this story to his daughter before she would go to sleep.

During the entire reading I could not follow the many short glimpses into the mind of the man in the story. I divided his reading into eight sections, and named each according to its topic. Some names include, the daughter missing, “x” and “y” killing, and slicing the body in half. Random came to mind first; it was not until I looked back at the titles a few times for me to completely understand that this was truly about the bigger picture—the bigger storyline. When he finished, Everett slowly bowed his head once again and closed the book. He looked reverent, as if he was about to pray. “Are there any questions?”

My Love of Presidential Races

Many of the Memphis Blogs are on the topic of politics. And with the 2008 presidential election rapidly approaching, it only makes sense. Unfortunately, I only know the little I have heard, read, and seen on television. My effort to get informed on the ’08 race has been almost nothing as I have been very busy with school and practicing. However, all of these candidates, their views, what they have voted for, and the many debates that they are in interest me greatly. During the ’04 race, I did my best to watch the news reports and the heated debates on issues we all know will never be completely solved. However, I was in high school then and I had no choice but to watch the morning news with my Mom, and had the time to sit and soak in all the juicy talk in the debates. I enjoyed the debates so much, that it would take a lot to peel my eyes away from that screen. When candidates would step on each other’s toes, I felt I was watching a game—intense and thrilling—but with words, instead of say, a ball. Though I haven’t gotten to see all the debates and reports, I know that when I do decide whom I will vote for, I will have spent many hours studying their views. Hey…what else is there to do on a boring summer day in a stuffy house?

Construction On Campus: Yea or Neigh?

The University of Memphis, just like any other college, is constantly progressing—tearing down and reconstructing and tearing down and reconstructing again. Although this progress is healthy, it is also very disturbing. Last semester I took Chemistry and I had to pass through puddles of mud. The loud crashes of the tractors and men yelling were sometimes so loud that I could not hear my professor. And every once in awhile, the air was filled with the revolting smell of sulfur. Dealing with these inconveniences has really gotten on my nerves.

Then, an entry on The Gates of Memphis blog caught my attention; it was on the demolition of a church on Mynders. The author explains how he felt that the church was a historical monument and therefore is part of the beauty of the campus and should have remained. Apparently, the University felt that the space where the Baptist Church once stood could be put to better use. But what use they will put it to, they have not decided.

Despite the fact that I hate that they torn down this church that had stood for seventy-five years, I feel the only way to make physical progress on campus is by use of construction. This progress can be positive. For example, we sure could use a new music building for a plethora of reasons, and I would not stop a single person from breaking ground tomorrow. But I suppose that since I am directly affected by the constructing of a new music building, I am not opposed to it. I feel so torn! Help me!

Love Is In The Air

Well, it is almost Valentine’s Day. Wow, time sure flies by. Last February 14th seems like just yesterday. It was about 11:30p.m. on February 13th and I was talking to two of my friends—Sarah and Matt—on IM (Instant Messaging). Sarah was trying to convince me to tell Matt, our mutual friend, that I liked him. “You might be surprised,” she said. “Come on, it’s not that hard,” she beckoned. I had been so scared to tell anyone that I liked them as more than a friend since the sixth grade. You see, I liked this guy named Nathan and he said that he was flattered, but he did not think that his Dad, a preacher, would allow him to have a girlfriend. I was crushed, but not just because I liked him a lot, but because I had been rejected lots of times before that. And that day, I vowed that I would never tell a guy how I felt about him again unless he told me first. But Matt was different. We met at a summer church camp that we both had gotten for several years, but never really met. After camp he e-mailed me to let me know that he wanted to keep in touch. At first, we had e-mail conversations back and forth every couple of days, but soon we would e-mail each other at least once a day and talk on IM for a couple hours at night. Eventually, he started calling me every couple of weeks and we would talk for an hour or two. Over the eight months prior to this night, we had talked almost everyday and we saw each other on three different occasions. Was this the right time? Should I really tell him? At this point, my Mom and my brother had been begging me to tell him for at least a month and my Dad had been referring to him as my boyfriend for months. I took her advice. He had to get off the computer at exactly midnight on February 14th, so right before he signed off, I told him. The conversation went something like this:

Meghan: There’s something I have to tell you.
Matt: Can it wait? I have to get off.
Meghan: No.
Matt: But seriously, my parents will KILL me if I don’t get off in one minute.
Meghan: I like you.
Matt: Oh…Well, I would love to talk to you about this, but I have to get off like right now! I guess I’ll talk to you tomorrow about it.

I was shaking all over! I had broken my promise. And I had told him that I liked him even though I did not know how he felt about me. What was I going to do? I wondered if it would make our friendship awkward. Why had I done that? I felt wonderful and terrible all at the same time. I wanted to know how he felt about me for months, so maybe I would finally get an answer, but I felt awful for what it could potentially do to our friendship if his feelings were not the same as my own. Well, we have been together for ten and a half months today, so you can assume that the feelings were mutual. He did not tell me how he felt, however, until two months later. I am feeling hopeful for this year’s Valentine’s Day, because I am in love with someone and I do not have to wait on their reply. ;)

The Hardest Two Words to Say

“I’m sorry.” “Please forgive me.” I would say that these simple words are the hardest for anyone to say—myself included. But why are they so hard you ask? We’re selfish. That’s it. We do things that God doesn’t want us to, because we would rather please ourselves; and then, when it comes to saying sorry about it, we don’t want to admit we were wrong because we’re proud. Most of us, however, don’t have to say we’re sorry publicly. But imagine if we did—maybe we would be much more willing to say sorry and get on with it.

Kwame Kilpatrick, mayor of Detroit, Michigan went on live television to publicly apologize for cheating on his wife and then lying about the affair. Apparently he had gone on a trip to North Carolina, and during his stay, he spent some time with a woman at a couples retreat in a hotel and spa. Upon questioning, however, he denied the accusations of an affair. Kilpatrick’s live apology with his wife at his side did not redeem his actions, however, at least he came clean with God, his city, his family, and himself.

So, the next time you make a wrong move, remember the consequences for not being honest and humble, and be thankful that you don’t have say a public apology every time you screw up. Just go ahead and say it!

*Story on Kwame Kilpatrick was found on “Commontaries” under “Memphis Blogs.”

Are You Asking The Right Questions?

While practicing violin, I am usually become excessively occupied with my sound quality or getting the right pitches, instead of truly thinking about how I can change my violin playing. Don’t get me wrong, sound quality and intonation are important, but in order to change my playing, I have to get brain, body and soul involved; and I feel that I have been leaving my brain out for some time. In order to change my thinking I believe that I must have the right thought process in order to make my playing and practicing more whole. So, in order to get my brain more involved to create a more whole approach to my practicing and thinking I feel that I must focus on specific questions that pinpoint particular aspects to hone in on.

In the “Smart City Memphis” blog, one entry included the concept of asking the right questions, in order to focus on the right things. Memphis was planning to welcome a Bass Pro Shop to The Pyramid, and the author argued that they were not thinking of “what should we do with the building and/or the site that makes the most sense for a city that desperately needs more vibrancy, more ambition, more talent, more innovation and more entrepreneurship,” but rather they thought about “ how they could fill up The Pyramid with a tenant.”

Normally, I just fill up time with mindless hours of practice. However, I believe that if I start asking more sensible questions when I practice violin or study for school, that I can get to the “heart” of the problem. This is quite a challenge for me, as I am not always up to using the full capacity of my brain when I practice, because I haven’t trained myself to think in this way. But I feel that a bit of a “stretch” could help me benefit from this new way of thinking.