“We come to college to get over our littlemindedness.”
-Robert Frost
I broke down. What was I going to do? My Mom was waiting with bated breath on the other end of the phone. Eighteen credit hours creates different atmospheres and thus perspectives on college life. My friend Natalie, for example has had very few assignments and many of her courses simply consist of reading the text and taking a few in class tests and quizzes. However, I have had a BUTT load of work every night. Whining and complaining now doesn’t seem logical as mid-terms are mostly passed after this week is done, but I HATE feeling this way. PERIOD.
College is one experience I certainly don’t want to miss a moment of; it is the long road trips, the late night assignments, and the list continues. Why does it have to be this way? My advisor/violin teacher says that taking eighteen credit hours now will save me trouble later. I know that what she says is true, but my heart doesn’t want to believe it. I want to cry and pity myself all the time, even though this is the most learning I have done in my entire life. My mind is thinking, processing, and organizing new information faster than ever. College has allowed me to broaden my view of culture, music, literature, art, and science; opportunities and experiences are open to me as long as I am here and in the “throw” of things.
What am I doing incorrectly? How is it that I am ending up so strangled, sad, tired, aggravated, and simply frustrated at the world and at myself? I know that my trust in God’s steady hand faithfully guiding me is always an area in need of improvement; however, I feel that this idea of college is to break us away from either loving school or hating it. The college philosophy is that we choose what we want to pursue and the school will make you suffer to get to your goal—graduation. I believe that college and higher education forces us to think and feel love and hate simultaneously.
P.S.~Thanks for letting me vent!
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