The Yellow Scar

I believe that certain people are put in your life for a purpose. There is a certain man in my life who is of great importance to me. It was once said that "If you are cut deep enough several times, you are left with a scar--an everlasting reminder of every single wound." Over and over. Beaten with that verbal whip. Preceding each lash on your psyche with a cringe of pain before the whip has even been raised in preparation to crack.

I know I am not alone in my pain; those around me have to endure the "task master." Try as I might, to hold in my sorrow, I lash out in defense--helpless and alone. I hide in my closet; that is the only place to go. It's dark and I am safe...for now... The next attack could be soon or afar off, but no matter, everything belongs to him. He can come and go as he pleases; he can say what he wishes without a single regret or force to stop the words flowing from his slithering tongue.

I want to feel close to him despite all of the hate I feel towards him. I want to feel free express myself in front of him without worry of criticism or sarcastic remarks. I want to feel secure in his love for me.